Weekly Vibe Check 3.20.23 ~ Lights Come Up

Every week I draw a spread, check the stars, and tell you the vibes

This week gives us a unique opportunity to dive into the hollows of grief, and to innovate, to create from that space.  Grief gets a bad rap in my opinion.  We have a long way to go as a culture to embrace, understand, and move through the death process that includes grief.  Smaller, more fragile states of grief need to be honored just as much as those which come out of horror or tragic loss; it's no surprise we're not excellent at those either.  The ending to a relationship you knew was coming to a close, but now the time has come.  The graduation goggles on your last few weeks of a school year, or before you leave a job. 


Grief is acknowledging the bittersweet paradox of endings + release, and the excitement/anxiety at the beginning of new chapters. The time between an actual loss and finding that which will take its place.  The first steps on any adventure are thrilling, but they’re also completely new- which begets a deep fear of the unknown.  Even if it's an objectively positive new beginning, fear whispers to us from a small corner of our heart. There’s no guaranteed safety in the next chapter of life, whatever that may be for you.

This is a natural extension of last week’s energy- that liminal space where we need to give ourselves and others as much compassion and grace that we can.  It will be overwhelming for us all, and this part of our respective journeys will still feel a little solitary.  This isn’t permanent.


she gets it

The liminal space within which we find ourselves this week is a chance to deeply engage with the grief paradox.  Many of us will arrive at a pivot point due to a sudden shift in our circumstances.  It will most undoubtedly be an external issue suddenly interrupting our daily flow, unceremoniously ushering in a new era.  For many of us, this shift was a long time coming, but severing old habits to build new ones wasn’t high on our priority list.  For those instances, this will be a mixed blessing. You won’t need to go through any stages to remove yourself from outdated ways of being, it will be done for you.  


look at this guy, he wasn't prepared!

For others, this will be a time to meet your breaking point regarding a system you're involved in.  To be fed up, and bear witness to the final straw breaking the camel’s back.  This is something you’ve seen coming for a long time, and had no power to influence a change and prevent this catastrophe.  However, because you’ve been ruminating over how big of an issue this was to be, you’ve more than likely been daydreaming of this exact moment.  You might even have plans or alternate courses of action already sketched out.  The lack of preparedness from those in power shifts the dynamic, and you could be seeing a window of opportunity to jump through, but only if you act with confidence when the time arises.   


I'm in my goofy stock photo era

This radical paradigm shift is not one that can be described as a comfy experience.  In fact, there’s a very real art in fooling yourself as you perform for others.  A mutually agreed upon lie can be a fantastic experience.  But all things must end eventually.  Much like when the house lights come up, casting a harsh reality check on what was previously fantastical, we're gonna have some aesthetic stripped from the narrative.  Suddenly, the floor is stickier than you remember, the flirtations aren’t as thrilling.  The magic evaporates.  Fluorescent lighting is the great equalizer: universally unflattering.  So brace yourselves my loves, the house lights are about to come on- regardless of the path you choose.  We're about to see just how much everyone's been faking it. 

no one can stop me

If you’re ready to accept yourself and others under the harsh light of day, you’ll be able to pivot beautifully in this energy.  If you’re horrified by the sight of reality enough that you’re running to hit the lights back again- you’ll be much less comfortable.  To the point: if keeping up appearances and saving face is what you strive for, this is not your week.  

If you’ve ever stayed at a party longer than necessary, there’s always a few people who desperately try to keep the energy going.  More often than not, it’s a sad sight that inevitably drains the remaining life force from the experience all together.  We’ll see this in our individual circumstances- however this plays out for you- but also on the ‘big stage’ of politics, pop culture, etc.  The death rattle will be loud from those who have been definitively beaten.  Some will not give the illusion up gracefully, some will never truly give it up.  It’s a good idea to remember that those who yell the loudest are those in the most existential pain. 

Frequently I have watched my peers in various stages of their careers become overwhelmed by the expectations of the world.  What they’re supposed to be, what they can’t ever become.  Everything gets to a point where you’re twisting your personhood into a pretzel, while it’s still not enough to succeed at your goal- you’ve become unrecognizable to yourself.  Often it’s a deeply unflattering version of yourself you find in the mirror.  The grief process here is accepting who we are right now, how we got here, and being brave enough to move forward towards someone you recognize once more.  Many don’t have the ability to stand up to ourselves and the monsters we’ve become.  This is ultimately the purpose of Fancy Monster Vision- to help you become comfortable amidst the uncomfortable process of knowing thyself. 

At this place, we have two options: continue to twist our essence even further into a grotesque shape to impress the imaginary overlords- or to get so frustrated that your will to conform breaks entirely and you free yourself from any expectations moving forward.  The latter is what I’ve aways called “getting past the point of fuck it,” and it’s a virtue of radial self acceptance that functions as an express lane to your personal power.  If there’s nothing left to lose, it’s time loosen up!


This week, we find ourselves at exactly this crossroads.  The pressure and anxiety will build up to a boiling point, and we’ll choose one path or another.  To realize how much of our lives we’ve compromised our essential personhood for a metric that has always been elusive.  To decide if we’ll give into the tempting fallacy of our energy thus far being a sunk cost and double down. Or, will we get past the point of fuck it, toss some glitter on our newly formed warts and make the next moves as fun and authentic as possible.    

Whatever you decide to do- this week is the time to be brave however you can- please remember that there are larger patterns at play here.  You are not in control right now.  You’re not in charge of the house lights.  They will come on at the appropriate time, but that part isn’t for you to decide.


Attempting to hold onto control right now is a misstep.  Watch as the shift occurs, and orient yourself as you see fit. 


You’ll do a great job.



Sun ingresses into Aries 3.20- Welcome to Aries Season!

New Moon in Aries 0 Deg (wow yes) 3.21 Tuesday

Moon Conjunction Chiron and Jupiter 3.22- Wednesday (the music dies down, the lights come up)


Moon Conjunct Venus, Uranus in Taurus- 3.24- Friday  (Make or break time- can you hang or not?)

Mars Ingresses into Cancer, Moon Trine Uranus- 3.25 Saturday (Make your monster Fancy, time to pivot)

Mercury Conjunct Chiron in Aries- Sunday 3.26- (Facing the harsh lighting and self acceptance is so hot right now)





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